Book Reviews

Review by Jo Parfitt


This review was first published in The Inspirer Newsletter for January 2008.

Are you doing the right thing?
I've just had a two week break over Christmas. I expect most of you did something similar. And then, away from my office, embroiled in other things, like visiting family, eating and drinking, oh, and shopping in the sales, I forgot all about work. The holiday came to an end and, once I had tackled the washing mountain, I sat back down at my desk and looked at my online diary. And my heart sank. Did I really book that much into my schedule? What was I thinking when I agreed to do that? And did I really promise to deliver that task to that client by such a ridiculously short deadline?

Before the holidays my schedule had seemed both reasonable and workable. Now that I have dropped down a gear I think I must have been mad.

Does that happen to you too?

What's more, I had agreed to doing certain things that I knew deep down, I either wouldn't enjoy, weren't worth the hassle, or were not really in line with my Big Plan. But I said 'yes' all the same.

There was nothing for it, but to have a serious talk to myself. Disentangle myself from some of the tasks and move those deadlines to a sensible place. Instead of getting stuck straight into my manic pile of work I make this my first priority. Boy, does that feel better!

I think that this is one of the reasons we have holidays. So we can get some perspective on our 'other lives'. New Years Resolutions aren't just for Christmas. I make them after every single holiday because, before I go away I find myself in a pickle again.

I know all about setting boundaries, checking in with my instinct to ensure I do not act too impulsively and agree to do things I may regret later. I know too about being mindful. But, in the rush that comes in the run up to a bout of time off I become so frantically busy that I feel I have no time to think. Not any more . . .

Fortunately, over the holidays the perfect book arrived for me. Called 'Personal Leadership' it is written by my good friend Barbara Schaetti along with fellow experts and practitioners Sheila Ramsay and Gordon Watanabe. Packed with ideas, case studies and wonderful exercises, the authors have reminded me about the importance of being mindful and of taking the time to reflect all the time. Not just in the weeks after a holiday! Their wise words have taught me how to be mindful of what I am doing and to make the best decisions for me at the time they happen. It is a wonderful book, written by people with lots of intercultural experience so its advice is even more appropriate for those of us who, like me, live abroad.

I particularly like some of their ideas that can be incorporated into our daily lives and that jolt us out of those moments when we are in danger of becoming automatons. They remind us to stop for a moment and think. Are we enjoying what we are doing at that moment? If we are, then what is it exactly we enjoy? What are the emotions attached to that task and how do they make us feel? If we are not enjoying it then exactly what is it that we are not enjoying? And so on.

Perhaps you can remind yourself to be mindful every time the clock chimes, or when you receive a text message, or you see a bus pass on the street? The more practised you become at being mindful the easily you will learn to find and trust your instinct and to know if you are about to do the right or wrong thing.

If you too are suffering from post-holiday overwhelm, do yourself a favour and buy this book.

Jo Parfitt

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